a soft silky mesh with glittery golden stars,
pale pink, it draped to my touch,
it cut crisply with the scissors and suddenly
I was a girl again,
twirling in my princess skirt –
my own soft pale pink mesh with glittery golden stars
I can never sleep when the moon is full
Sometimes I wonder if part of me is wolf.
Maybe just a bud of wolf’s-heart that could
Flower if I let it, or maybe it’s a key in a lock
That I just need to turn to let the wolf in.
you think bottling emotions will save you
but it’s only collecting poison for later
that will rot and spoil in your neglect –
it will eventually force down your throat
or inject into your neck, your hands will fly to the wound
to try and muffle the agony, but it’s too late.
to ignore is not to dispose, even hauling the bottle
overboard into a heaving ocean is only
a compromise or a suspension,
delaying the consequence to a later date
When exactly does the world end?
When it shatters into fragments of glassy particles
sharp at the edges, asteroids now feeling like pebbles,
with the explosion of shrapnel piercing space? It still exists,
just in a different shape, so does the world only end
when it has become the lunch spiralling down the digestive tract
of a black hole?
an utterance is the heart’s way of shouting
but it does not rupture the enigma of a liminal space,
I am not waiting on the brink of a question, I am only
listening to a smooth swell of musical crescendo
As murmurs become a gentle nudge to fall out of almost-asleep
and into a dream that fills the night silence, not
with noise, but an explosion of colours
and stories we would never think to tell,
infused with (only-imagined) sounds.
I don’t think we realise the imprint of a name,
They tattoo our brains, how inked skin stains
As we write labels for the sum of our parts.
My name does not define me because
It will never describe me, but
To you it identifies me, and
Everything I am within my name
Is for you to decide without me.
I can find sanctuary with as many people as I please
But it’s with myself that I need to find ease, where tears
Can flow as freely as laughter.
A happy place is more than pleasure and adventure,
It’s comfort, it’s safety, it’s home.
I can’t expect to fill a void with a hand, when I need to decipher
What to do with mine before ever expecting to hold another.
No home will ever be more lasting and stable than the skeleton
That keeps me together even when my mind tries to fall apart.
My bones may break or fracture, my heart may shatter
But my skin forever contains it all, and still,
They will be eternally mine.
I walk through a dream (or maybe they’re memories)
Only to find hidden bodies, bedraggled leftovers,
Severed heads with brains extracted, skins shed and discarded,
They all wear the same face that haunts my reflection.